Can I just say that I had the most amazing delivery. Blown away. During my pregnancy I did a ton of chiropractic care, drank lots of raw milk, took extra magnesium, and ate a ton of protein. I honestly did not exercise very much. I would definitely say that I needed to exercise more and get in better shape. HOWEVER - despite my lack of exercise, my body rocked it when it came to this birth.
I was due June 14, but as many of you will probably experience, June 14 came and went... I was starting to get a little nervous and put into practice a few things to help speed labor up - I started inserting 1-2 1500 mg capsules of Evening Primose Oil vaginally, which helps ripen the cervix, I took extra doses of my Gentle Birth Tincture, which is supposed to help you deliver on time, I went to the chiropractor and I finally went to an Acupuncturist (June 20th) to help induce labor!
Mostly, I didn't want to go past 42 weeks. Past 42 weeks, my birth plan would change completely. I had planned on delivering at a Birth Center, but this particular Birth Center would not deliver past 42 weeks, so I would transfer to the hospital. My midwife would still be able to deliver the baby in the hospital, but I really was looking forward to my water tub birth, in a peaceful birth center.
So June 21st, I was up late, writing down some things that I wanted my husband to say and pray over me while I was in labor. It got to be 1:30 in the morning, and I was having contractions here and there so I thought to myself, it would be smart to head to bed. I went to the bathroom and inserted another Evening Primrose Oil vaginally in hopes that my cervix would start ripening and this little boy that we had waited 9 months to meet would start moving down and be ready to be birthed! And then I headed to bed.
At 3:55 a.m. I woke up to a contraction that was a bit stronger and I felt this gushing down south that felt somewhat like I was peeing my pants. But I couldn't stop it. I thought, maybe it was the Evening Primrose Oil coming out. But it was more than just that little capsule contained! So I looked over at my husband and said, "babe, I think my water just broke." Can I just say how surreal that statement is?! I mean, you hear the women say that in a movie, but in real life that sort of thing never happens! I was shocked. I stood up, and water just was gushing out of me. More and more...we just stood there laughing that it was so uncontrollable. I asked my husband to grab me a towel that I could wrap around myself, but even after I had the towel wrapped around me, I couldn't move! I was just trying to keep my water from pouring all over the floor.
Can I just pause to say, this wasn't a small amount of water. I mean really. My pants were soaked. I was shocked. I always thought that maybe it would be a small amount...you know something that wouldn't complete humiliate you if it happened in the Target aisle. But I was wrong. I can't imagine what I would have done if I was walking through Target and that happened. I'm pretty sure I'd high tail myself right out of there, hoping that no one would see what had happened. Oh, is there some water on the floor? I have NO idea how that got there! (As I'm running for the exit signs.)
So we're standing watching in disbelief as amniotic fluid is gushing out of me and soaking my pants. And I realize, this is definitely it! I mean. There's no ignoring your water breaking! So I got changed, threw my pajamas in the laundry and proceeded to make, well, start to make brownies as a treat for my midwives. I got as far as melting the butter, putting 2 cups of sugar in my mixer, and blending the two together. At this point, I said, forget it! I went and sat on the couch and timed a few contractions while my husband worked on some dishes, both of us thinking I was still in early labor!
For about 20 minutes they were 5 minutes a part, then they went to 4 minutes a part, and at the end of the hour, they were 3 minutes apart. Somewhere in there my husband stopped doing the dishes, and packed the car. I said, babe, I think we need to call the midwives, and he said, "really, already?!" He's thinking it's too soon, that I probably had another 12 hours to go! So at 4:45 a.m. I called the midwives, and left a message. I waited another 20 minutes, and didn't get a call back. So I called again. I let the midwife know that the contractions were between 3 and 5 minutes apart, but mostly 3 and 4 minutes apart, for the past hour. Since this is my second baby, they want you head to the birth center a little faster. While we were talking she said, "Well, I'm at the hospital with another mom that is in labor. We lost power at the Birth Center, so we moved over here." Instant tears. I mean, isn't this why I've been inserting massive amounts of Evening Primrose Oil where the sun don't shine!? Isn't this why I let some stranger put tiny needles all over my body in hopes that it would induce labor? (People have told me it doesn't hurt...they were lying.) How about the Gentle Tincture that's supposed to strengthen the uterus and makes it more likely to have your baby closer to your due date, so I've had tons and tons of Braxton Hicks for the last 5 weeks? And now, because of spring storms (I know it's June, but these are Minnesota spring storms) the power is out and we'll still have to deliver in the hospital? No water tub birth? No peaceful environment? No nice linens and fancy bed to lay in? Hospital hard delivery bed, when I knew there was this cozy bed waiting for me at the birth center?!
After all these thoughts flooded through my mind in less than 10 seconds, which probably was evident through my shakey response, barely squeaking out, "okay," she said, let me go check and see if the electricity came back on at the birth center. With a brief sense of relief, I responded with a much more jubilant, "okay."
While we waited for her return phone call, I called to my husband a few times to help me through my contractions. I didn't want to sit, I didn't want the birthing ball, I just wanted to lean on my husband and stretch my lower half as much as possible. The contractions were definitely getting stronger and stronger, and I was started to wonder if I had what it takes. Could I really deliver this baby naturally? Did I have the strength, could I endure the pain...I was starting to get scared. Through all this I've been texting my doula letting her know where I was at. I really didn't want anyone around, just my husband, so I decided to have my doula meet us at the birth center. We were also practicing our hypnobabies, I would lean on my husband and he'd push down on my shoulder and say, "release" reminding me to relax my body and release hypno-anesthesia througout my body. While I definitely felt like I was more able to relax than I had in the past, it was difficult to focus enough to release hypno-anesthesia throughout my body. I missed the early prep time, I had slept through it. I was thrown into active labor and I think the shock of it made using my hypno tools a little more difficult. My mind wasn't prepped for game time.
The midwife returned my call and said the electricity was still out. However, none of the tools they need require electricity and the light was coming out, so we really could still have the baby at the birth center. I immediately said that I wanted to do it. Then I double checked to make sure my husband was okay with it too (after all, it is also his baby...) and he said he was good with it! So off to the birth center we went - no electricity and all! I am a true pioneer!!!
We got our little girl up and all of us got in the car. I put my headphones in with my hypnobabies playing, attempting to relax through contractions on the way to the birth center. I called my mom about 10 minutes in letting her know she needed to come pick up our sweet girl. My goal was to not run into her at the birth center. I wanted to be calmly in my birthing room, with just my husband and the birth center staff. No interruptions, just peaceful surroundings.
We got there around 6 a.m. and went straight in, at this point, I was pretty focused. They checked me and didn't tell me how dilated I was. Which I was really thankful that I made that decision. Knowing my number would have only gotten me in my head thinking I had a full day of labor left. Great suggestion from my doula. Thank you Anne! I walked into the birthing room, went to the bathroom, and the contractions started to coming one right after another. I was getting 30 second breaks leaning on my husband, I said, babe, I just don't think I can do this for another 12 hours. I don't think I can handle this. I was yelling, I wasn't crying, I was just confiding in my spouse that I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to make it. And he reassured me, and told me that I could, that I was strong and that he was so impressed with how well I was doing. If I had gone to the hospital, at that moment getting the epidural would have been so enticing that I'm not sure I would have had the strength to say no. Honestly, without him, his encouragement and love I would have caved. He even appealed to my ego telling me that he thought the nurses were really impressed with how I was handling everything. I mean, if I'm impressing the nurses, then I must be doing okay.
I'm leaning on my husband, and the tub is full, but they didn't think it was warm enough. Since we didn't have electricity, they were boiling water on the gas stove to heat up the tub! (See...true pioneer. They boiled water.) Finally the last pot of water came and they poured it into my tub, my glorious tub. I was ready, so I climbed in. Oh...that warm water helps a women relax during her contractions. So thankful for the warm water wooshing over me and helping my lower body relax. I had my tanktop on and letting my lower half just be free and naked. Honestly, at this point, I don't care that I'm half naked at all. But I'm thankful now that I had people around me that I could trust to be so vulnerable with. It was so nice to be in the tub and feel a nice layer of protection over me while my half naked body is under the water. As my body continued to have contractions, I held my husband's hand and leaned over to him while my doula read me scripts from hypnobabies. Reminding me again to relax. Release my body. I was so much more relaxed with this birth than I was with my first, and this birth was intense! So fast and sooo intense.
I'm laying there in the tub and suddenly I feel like I have to poop. (I really hate saying that, but it's true...) I'm thinking I need to get out of the tub and go the bathroom, that I'm still in the early stages of labor and that I need to clear out my system. That's what I thought was happening. I still believed I had 12 hours of labor to go. This was at 7:05 a.m. So I've been in labor for a little over 3 hours. I had a few more contractions where I really felt like I had to poo, and my doula asked, "do you think it's time to push?" And I realized, yes, this wasn't early stage, clearing out your system, diarrhea poo, this is all baby getting ready for mama to push him out. I had about 3 contractions where I felt slightly pushy, like I had to poo, and then suddenly it was on (on like donkey kong). I had a baby separating the bones inside my body pushing his way down and out of my body. I have to say, if someone told me not to push, I would have kicked them in the face. There is no way I even couldn't push at this point. No way at all. That baby was coming! So lying in the tub, one hand holding my husband's hand, and the other holding onto the bar on the wall, my lower body floating in the tub, I started pushing! (Yes, I didn't just say my lower body was floating in the tub). I didn't get into any positions, I honestly couldn't even think about getting into a positions...Positions didn't come into my mind at all. I just started pushing. And screaming. That low growly scream that shocked the crap out of you when you realize it's coming out of your body. I mean...really if I'm ever shot, I think I'll be screaming like that. I was shocked and amazed at the sounds and tones coming out of my body. Completely free to express how I was feeling and be how I wanted to be. I was free to be as vulnerable as any women has ever been and as open as any women could ever be. I mean, I remember reading stories of women that let their primal, or monkey self do whatever it wants to do. And I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine yelling or howling or screaming. What good would it do. But after I felt the pushing feeling, and that deep growl came out of me, I couldn't stop myself from screaming. It wasn't me, it was everything I had inside of me pushing this little man out of my body into this world. I felt every push, I felt his body moving lower, I felt when his head started to emerge from my body, when his head was halfway out of my body and as I pushed the rest of his head out, and as I pushed out his shoulders and that crazy swishing feeling as the rest of his body came out of me and they placed my sweet little boy into my arms. I was in a different dimension. I remember pushing and saying, "Get him out of me," and they just encouraged me as I mustered up all my strength to push him out, and they told me to pull in my legs and tuck my chin and push and I did and that sweet little boy pushed out of me and into the water. So beautiful this little person that had been growing in my womb finally coming to meet me. There were no tears, it was just pure joy. And awe, and a little bit of shock. It was amazing. I was amazed, am amazed by the whole experience.
My sweet little man was born at 7:36 a.m., the morning of June 22nd. 3 1/2 hours of the most intense experience of my life. So amazing, so beautiful, and I must say, that I am amazed by my power and strength, and the loving powerful bond of myself to my husband as he encouraged me and loved me through every moment. I'm thankful for the water as I was able to be vulnerable and honest about who I am and how I must deliver my son.
I was due June 14, but as many of you will probably experience, June 14 came and went... I was starting to get a little nervous and put into practice a few things to help speed labor up - I started inserting 1-2 1500 mg capsules of Evening Primose Oil vaginally, which helps ripen the cervix, I took extra doses of my Gentle Birth Tincture, which is supposed to help you deliver on time, I went to the chiropractor and I finally went to an Acupuncturist (June 20th) to help induce labor!
Mostly, I didn't want to go past 42 weeks. Past 42 weeks, my birth plan would change completely. I had planned on delivering at a Birth Center, but this particular Birth Center would not deliver past 42 weeks, so I would transfer to the hospital. My midwife would still be able to deliver the baby in the hospital, but I really was looking forward to my water tub birth, in a peaceful birth center.
So June 21st, I was up late, writing down some things that I wanted my husband to say and pray over me while I was in labor. It got to be 1:30 in the morning, and I was having contractions here and there so I thought to myself, it would be smart to head to bed. I went to the bathroom and inserted another Evening Primrose Oil vaginally in hopes that my cervix would start ripening and this little boy that we had waited 9 months to meet would start moving down and be ready to be birthed! And then I headed to bed.
At 3:55 a.m. I woke up to a contraction that was a bit stronger and I felt this gushing down south that felt somewhat like I was peeing my pants. But I couldn't stop it. I thought, maybe it was the Evening Primrose Oil coming out. But it was more than just that little capsule contained! So I looked over at my husband and said, "babe, I think my water just broke." Can I just say how surreal that statement is?! I mean, you hear the women say that in a movie, but in real life that sort of thing never happens! I was shocked. I stood up, and water just was gushing out of me. More and more...we just stood there laughing that it was so uncontrollable. I asked my husband to grab me a towel that I could wrap around myself, but even after I had the towel wrapped around me, I couldn't move! I was just trying to keep my water from pouring all over the floor.
Can I just pause to say, this wasn't a small amount of water. I mean really. My pants were soaked. I was shocked. I always thought that maybe it would be a small amount...you know something that wouldn't complete humiliate you if it happened in the Target aisle. But I was wrong. I can't imagine what I would have done if I was walking through Target and that happened. I'm pretty sure I'd high tail myself right out of there, hoping that no one would see what had happened. Oh, is there some water on the floor? I have NO idea how that got there! (As I'm running for the exit signs.)
So we're standing watching in disbelief as amniotic fluid is gushing out of me and soaking my pants. And I realize, this is definitely it! I mean. There's no ignoring your water breaking! So I got changed, threw my pajamas in the laundry and proceeded to make, well, start to make brownies as a treat for my midwives. I got as far as melting the butter, putting 2 cups of sugar in my mixer, and blending the two together. At this point, I said, forget it! I went and sat on the couch and timed a few contractions while my husband worked on some dishes, both of us thinking I was still in early labor!
For about 20 minutes they were 5 minutes a part, then they went to 4 minutes a part, and at the end of the hour, they were 3 minutes apart. Somewhere in there my husband stopped doing the dishes, and packed the car. I said, babe, I think we need to call the midwives, and he said, "really, already?!" He's thinking it's too soon, that I probably had another 12 hours to go! So at 4:45 a.m. I called the midwives, and left a message. I waited another 20 minutes, and didn't get a call back. So I called again. I let the midwife know that the contractions were between 3 and 5 minutes apart, but mostly 3 and 4 minutes apart, for the past hour. Since this is my second baby, they want you head to the birth center a little faster. While we were talking she said, "Well, I'm at the hospital with another mom that is in labor. We lost power at the Birth Center, so we moved over here." Instant tears. I mean, isn't this why I've been inserting massive amounts of Evening Primrose Oil where the sun don't shine!? Isn't this why I let some stranger put tiny needles all over my body in hopes that it would induce labor? (People have told me it doesn't hurt...they were lying.) How about the Gentle Tincture that's supposed to strengthen the uterus and makes it more likely to have your baby closer to your due date, so I've had tons and tons of Braxton Hicks for the last 5 weeks? And now, because of spring storms (I know it's June, but these are Minnesota spring storms) the power is out and we'll still have to deliver in the hospital? No water tub birth? No peaceful environment? No nice linens and fancy bed to lay in? Hospital hard delivery bed, when I knew there was this cozy bed waiting for me at the birth center?!
After all these thoughts flooded through my mind in less than 10 seconds, which probably was evident through my shakey response, barely squeaking out, "okay," she said, let me go check and see if the electricity came back on at the birth center. With a brief sense of relief, I responded with a much more jubilant, "okay."
While we waited for her return phone call, I called to my husband a few times to help me through my contractions. I didn't want to sit, I didn't want the birthing ball, I just wanted to lean on my husband and stretch my lower half as much as possible. The contractions were definitely getting stronger and stronger, and I was started to wonder if I had what it takes. Could I really deliver this baby naturally? Did I have the strength, could I endure the pain...I was starting to get scared. Through all this I've been texting my doula letting her know where I was at. I really didn't want anyone around, just my husband, so I decided to have my doula meet us at the birth center. We were also practicing our hypnobabies, I would lean on my husband and he'd push down on my shoulder and say, "release" reminding me to relax my body and release hypno-anesthesia througout my body. While I definitely felt like I was more able to relax than I had in the past, it was difficult to focus enough to release hypno-anesthesia throughout my body. I missed the early prep time, I had slept through it. I was thrown into active labor and I think the shock of it made using my hypno tools a little more difficult. My mind wasn't prepped for game time.
The midwife returned my call and said the electricity was still out. However, none of the tools they need require electricity and the light was coming out, so we really could still have the baby at the birth center. I immediately said that I wanted to do it. Then I double checked to make sure my husband was okay with it too (after all, it is also his baby...) and he said he was good with it! So off to the birth center we went - no electricity and all! I am a true pioneer!!!
We got our little girl up and all of us got in the car. I put my headphones in with my hypnobabies playing, attempting to relax through contractions on the way to the birth center. I called my mom about 10 minutes in letting her know she needed to come pick up our sweet girl. My goal was to not run into her at the birth center. I wanted to be calmly in my birthing room, with just my husband and the birth center staff. No interruptions, just peaceful surroundings.
We got there around 6 a.m. and went straight in, at this point, I was pretty focused. They checked me and didn't tell me how dilated I was. Which I was really thankful that I made that decision. Knowing my number would have only gotten me in my head thinking I had a full day of labor left. Great suggestion from my doula. Thank you Anne! I walked into the birthing room, went to the bathroom, and the contractions started to coming one right after another. I was getting 30 second breaks leaning on my husband, I said, babe, I just don't think I can do this for another 12 hours. I don't think I can handle this. I was yelling, I wasn't crying, I was just confiding in my spouse that I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to make it. And he reassured me, and told me that I could, that I was strong and that he was so impressed with how well I was doing. If I had gone to the hospital, at that moment getting the epidural would have been so enticing that I'm not sure I would have had the strength to say no. Honestly, without him, his encouragement and love I would have caved. He even appealed to my ego telling me that he thought the nurses were really impressed with how I was handling everything. I mean, if I'm impressing the nurses, then I must be doing okay.
I'm leaning on my husband, and the tub is full, but they didn't think it was warm enough. Since we didn't have electricity, they were boiling water on the gas stove to heat up the tub! (See...true pioneer. They boiled water.) Finally the last pot of water came and they poured it into my tub, my glorious tub. I was ready, so I climbed in. Oh...that warm water helps a women relax during her contractions. So thankful for the warm water wooshing over me and helping my lower body relax. I had my tanktop on and letting my lower half just be free and naked. Honestly, at this point, I don't care that I'm half naked at all. But I'm thankful now that I had people around me that I could trust to be so vulnerable with. It was so nice to be in the tub and feel a nice layer of protection over me while my half naked body is under the water. As my body continued to have contractions, I held my husband's hand and leaned over to him while my doula read me scripts from hypnobabies. Reminding me again to relax. Release my body. I was so much more relaxed with this birth than I was with my first, and this birth was intense! So fast and sooo intense.
I'm laying there in the tub and suddenly I feel like I have to poop. (I really hate saying that, but it's true...) I'm thinking I need to get out of the tub and go the bathroom, that I'm still in the early stages of labor and that I need to clear out my system. That's what I thought was happening. I still believed I had 12 hours of labor to go. This was at 7:05 a.m. So I've been in labor for a little over 3 hours. I had a few more contractions where I really felt like I had to poo, and my doula asked, "do you think it's time to push?" And I realized, yes, this wasn't early stage, clearing out your system, diarrhea poo, this is all baby getting ready for mama to push him out. I had about 3 contractions where I felt slightly pushy, like I had to poo, and then suddenly it was on (on like donkey kong). I had a baby separating the bones inside my body pushing his way down and out of my body. I have to say, if someone told me not to push, I would have kicked them in the face. There is no way I even couldn't push at this point. No way at all. That baby was coming! So lying in the tub, one hand holding my husband's hand, and the other holding onto the bar on the wall, my lower body floating in the tub, I started pushing! (Yes, I didn't just say my lower body was floating in the tub). I didn't get into any positions, I honestly couldn't even think about getting into a positions...Positions didn't come into my mind at all. I just started pushing. And screaming. That low growly scream that shocked the crap out of you when you realize it's coming out of your body. I mean...really if I'm ever shot, I think I'll be screaming like that. I was shocked and amazed at the sounds and tones coming out of my body. Completely free to express how I was feeling and be how I wanted to be. I was free to be as vulnerable as any women has ever been and as open as any women could ever be. I mean, I remember reading stories of women that let their primal, or monkey self do whatever it wants to do. And I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine yelling or howling or screaming. What good would it do. But after I felt the pushing feeling, and that deep growl came out of me, I couldn't stop myself from screaming. It wasn't me, it was everything I had inside of me pushing this little man out of my body into this world. I felt every push, I felt his body moving lower, I felt when his head started to emerge from my body, when his head was halfway out of my body and as I pushed the rest of his head out, and as I pushed out his shoulders and that crazy swishing feeling as the rest of his body came out of me and they placed my sweet little boy into my arms. I was in a different dimension. I remember pushing and saying, "Get him out of me," and they just encouraged me as I mustered up all my strength to push him out, and they told me to pull in my legs and tuck my chin and push and I did and that sweet little boy pushed out of me and into the water. So beautiful this little person that had been growing in my womb finally coming to meet me. There were no tears, it was just pure joy. And awe, and a little bit of shock. It was amazing. I was amazed, am amazed by the whole experience.
My sweet little man was born at 7:36 a.m., the morning of June 22nd. 3 1/2 hours of the most intense experience of my life. So amazing, so beautiful, and I must say, that I am amazed by my power and strength, and the loving powerful bond of myself to my husband as he encouraged me and loved me through every moment. I'm thankful for the water as I was able to be vulnerable and honest about who I am and how I must deliver my son.
